My Letter To All Females - Part II

Disclaimer: I am not so haughty to assume that my words are like gold and thus title this post something that could be taken to sound as if women in general need to hear my words. Please here my heart in this. This letter is an accumulation of years of confusion, questions, and yes tears. Please comment if you would like. If you seriously disagree with anything, just call me. There will be more parts; this rant went long. Sorry. It's because of a broken heart.


Dear Ladies,
If I may, I would like to speak to a couple different areas of life that have honestly weighed me down for years. To start, how you view yourselves.

How You (Ladies) View Yourselves:
This is possibly one of the most frustrating things to observe. Let me say first, to any female reading this who has ever thought otherwise, you have more value to the Lord and this life than you could possibly realize. How dare you think the way you do and say the things you do about a child of His, made in His image? He doesn't care what your weight is. He doesn't care what you look like. He doesn't care how bad of a singer or public speaker you are. He doesn't care about anything you have ever done wrong AS LONG AS you are using these examples as proof for Him not to love you. What I am saying is this: He made you, crafted you, gave you the personality you have, gave you the eye color you have, gave you the voice you have, gave you the talents you have. How ridiculous is it for us humans to turn these gifts into self-deprecation points?

Look, I understand (to a degree). Everyone wants to look good and want people to like them, but as stated in my last post, if you don't realize that you were made for a relationship with the King of Kings who loves unconditionally, you will NEVER be satisfied. You could have the most awesome and fashionable clothes. You could be the most gorgeous girl who has ever lived. You could be the thinnest person in the world. You could be the smartest girl and the wisest. But all of this will mean nothing if you don't realize what you were created for and live like you realize it. Unconditionally. Meaning: what ever you do: sin, mistakes, bad choices, however you look, however smart you, however many boys have asked you out...it doesn't matter. He loves with a love that is unconditional. You can not earn it.

The girls that you are told to be like, the ones on the magazines, you think they wake up and read their Bible? Not to judge, but I doubt most of them do. With JUST THAT in mind, you should feel called to a different lifestyle. You were created to delight in the King and Him only and if there is a man who strives to replicate Christ's love for the church in a relationship with you, then draw closer to the Lord together. However, if a possible "suitor" does not fit this description, because you have such contentment in the Lord, you should not even waste your time, because that is honestly what you would be doing if you pursued it anyway.

Some people say, "I would rather be unhappy than alone", and as much as I think that is bogus, let me ask you this, would you rather be not loved and married, or "alone" and loved by the King only? When we have the contentment that would respond to that question with the "alone with the King" option, then and only then can anyone expect to have a healthy marriage, because the foundation is solid. Two people, in love with the King and each other. The way it was designed to be from the beginning.

You are special! You are valued! Don't think otherwise.


Not that any of you fit in this category :-), but to not feel like I have left anything out, this portion is for any ladies reading this who think very highly AND speak of yourselves in a braggadocios manner all the time:
It is hard for me to say this after all the positive things I just said, but in the same way that it is severely detrimental to view yourself in a negative manner all the time, it is equally and possibly more dangerous to command worship from others all the time, either by your actions or words.

An individual who fits in this category feels that she deserves everything. She is entitled to whatever she thinks she is. She commands things out of people and gets annoyed when the praises from others aren't constantly flowing.

And do I think you are totally to blame? Not really. But largely. It could be a number of things. A parent who takes the princess imagery a little too far and turns it into child worship, getting everything you have ever wanted your whole life (materially speaking), or it could even just be part of your personality. Whatever the reason, it is not Christlike, and may I challenge you to take a look at yourself and make sure you are not this way.

Biggest reason: God honors humility. It's everywhere. One of the most repeated quotes in the Bible, "God opposed the proud and gives grace to the humble". Second biggest reason: your gender's example, the Hollywood dwelling gals...their lives are centered around worship of themselves (their bodies, talent, but mainly money). There are plenty of beautiful women who aren't famous. It comes down to the money. Okay, enough of that tangent (had to get it out there).

Here's what the Bible says about the example for you that shows and movies provide: Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will". Again, hear my heart. I am not condemning you and trying to make anyone depressed, but I am shouting, "SET YOURSELF FREE!" from the bondage of this kind of life. It may seem fun for a little while, but it is shallow and temporary.

Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"

We all deserve death. You don't deserve the best clothes all the time. You don't deserve the most expensive ring (:-)). You don't deserve the best car money can buy. Your husband/boyfriend should want to bless you AND want to provide for you, but this is a statement of blessing, not deserving. You should admire your spouse and he should admire you and be willing to lay down his life for you. Ha, for goodness sakes, it's supposed to be a secret that you're a princess! You aren't supposed to know that and act like it, you are supposed to be honored by the loving and respectful actions of men in your life. Am I saying that all men act like that? No. And I apologize for that. And I certainly don't always either, but I'm still saying it because it needs to be said...

So, if you find yourself thinking you deserve the best parking spot, the best seat in the room, the best treatment, etc. all the time, then you need to remember something that Jesus said (whose words we are supposed to be following :-/):

Mark 9:35
"Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, 'If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all'."


Part III to follow....