Note: Please read my disclaimer in Part II, if you haven't already to understand where I'm coming from with all of this...
How You (Ladies) View/Treat Each Other...
I am going to follow the advice of a Relient K song that says, "Why don't you come right out and say it? Even if the words are probably going to hurt, I'd rather have the truth than something insincere."
Let's get right into it.
James 3:9 - "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness".
1 Peter 3:8,9 - "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or INSULT WITH INSULT, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
Romans 12:9, 10 - "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly [and sisterly] love. Honor one another above yourselves".
Girls, Women, Young Ladies, Princesses, God's creations,
I am going to be very straightforward knowing that not everyone, but MOST women could be offended by this because it really applies. I am not going to apologize for my words. I will admit some of this is generalization, but for the sake of the ENTIRE BODY, I beg you to weigh these words heavily to make sure you don't fit into these descriptions.
I believe it breaks the heart of God when he hears the things you girls say about each other behind each others backs. As I said in the last posting (Part II), when you think so terrible of yourself, you are verbally, mentally, etc. destroying a very creation of His. How can you think that gossip is not the same thing but directed at another instead of yourself?
I believe that gossip is the number 1 relational division causer in the church today; at least in the US. How can we expect to get anything accomplished as the Body of Christ if there is so much division in the body over PETTY things?
Who cares what she said about you? Remember, you are a child of God! You have Him! You have been made in His likeness. Who cares what someone else says about you! YOUR VALUE RUNS DEEPER THAN WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU. Or it should.
You think by responding with the same level of remark: telling someone how terrible what she said was, or telling someone else something hurtful about that person, or giving each other the glare for a while, or pretending like nothing is wrong when you are boiling with bitterness...you think that HELPS ANYTHING?
You're a child of the Almighty. You are more than side comments and gossip. You are so much more than that level of worthless chatter. But when you do that or are involved in that, or even merely listen to that, you lower yourself to one who adheres to the world and its "mores" rather than one who follows the WORD and the very words spoken by the Lord.
Am I saying that guys don't do this? No. But it is mainly an issue with females. If you are truly secure in who you are in the King, then you would never have a need to make any defense remarks or any retaliations to statements about yourself.
I can't speak for every Christ wanna-be guys in the world, but I can speak for myself: nothing drives me crazier than a girl who claims (yes, I said "claims" on purpose) to be a Christ wanna-be, who talks non stop about other people and how annoying, stupid, weird, ugly, badly dressed, prideful, backstabber, and a hypocrite THEY ARE. Who is the real hypocrite in this story? I submit to you that it's the person talking not the subject of the talk.
I seriously don't want to hear it. As you are speaking those words, you are tearing down: yourself, the listener, the person you're talking about, and the person you claim as your Savior.
This is a tough card to pull, but I truly believe this so severely breaks the heart of God, so here goes: Please tell me why anyone would be interested in gaining the light you have inside of you if all they hear coming out of your mouth are venomous words? Seriously, we talk about wanting to see people come to the Lord, but we cut down people all the time around believers and non-believers. NO ONE will want to be like someone who is exactly like them. Role models don't act the same as everyone...
Whew. You are more because of Him - and ONLY because of Him. He rescued us from death and gave us a life that we didn't deserve. We don't deserve life, but He gave it. Let's be people who offer life to others instead of being death-spreaders.
Let's DO what the Word says and not just say, "Oh that's good" or "That probably means something to someone".
James 1:22-25: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what is says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man (or woman :-)) who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does".
Saturday, March 07, 2009
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13 comments:
"ouch" and "thanks for the reminders"
Ouch! That was the first word that came to mind. I am in agreement with your overall thoughts. As a female, I try very hard to avoid this type of pettiness. I think what bothers me the most is when I hear this "talk" come from elderly/older/adult women who are supposedly my role models. I'm not blaming them for my own mistakes, but it certainly makes me think twice about why non-Christians would want to "be like us"...
Thank God that His mercies are new every morning. Without his forgiveness, I'd be in a world of hurt. This is, again, not an excuse to partake in such conversation and belittling of others, but we can't forget this element.
Sad to know that His heart breaks when we say such hurtful things about others. It's also sad to know that God wants to do such a powerful work in the US church, and we are the ones crippling or hindering this from happening. I know God will move despite our imperfections, but we could be doing a much better job. Thanks for the reminder...
While I was still searching but not finding—I found one upright man among a thousand,but not one upright woman among them all.
--Ecclesiastes 7:28
and that from the wisest person ever
wow. who takes the time to put this up about women...isn't it God's right to judge not your ryan? i understand where your coming form in parts of this but what about all the guys out there that seduce girls and arein the lime light wanting praise also??? what ever happened to worrying about yourself? maybe you should prtect the guys around you also...girls are not as laid back and passive as they used to be. believe it or not we can take care of ourselves just as much as you guys can. I think this is very bold of you to put where others can read. some guys have just as many problems as these girls your talking about so what makes you think you can just make us seem like we're the ones at fault for eating disorders and self esteem issues. Yeah there are girls out there that want approval form all these guys but there are also a lot of guys out htere looking for the same thing form girls. I think it's time you stop worrying about everybody else and work on your own self esteen issues
Anonymous, thanks for the comment.
I agree in a few areas. Let me start by saying...guys will be getting it. I am saving the true ruckus for last...a letter to guys.
Why post this on a public site? Because I think some people can benefit from it and I am not worried about the possible backlash.
"Some guys have just as many problems as these girls your talking about so what makes you think you can just make us seem like we're the ones at fault for eating disorders and self esteem issues."
Reading that quote makes me think that you don't know me at all. I am absolutely not saying that. Ultimately, it is the devil's fault whose only purpose in life is to steal true joy from us. But, you're right...a lot of men are the cause of emotional disorders in women today.
This post was not about that at all. And yeah, you are right about one thing...it IS God who is the judge. And that is exactly what I am saying. I am urging, telling (with scripture) people and not just women to not judge and cut down people behind there back or to their face. It causes terrible division in the body.
I digress.
Feel free to call me at 814.574.5835 or e-mail me at ryan.grabill@gmail.com if you would like more context.
Anonymous, I don't know that anything Ryan said was to imply that girls can't take care of themselves.
"I think this is very bold of you to put where others can read...I think it's time you stop worrying about everybody else and work on your own self esteen issues"
At least he's bold enough to put himself out on a limb where we all know his name and who he is. It's easy to blast someone when hiding behind an anonymous id on a comment thread.
The reason I myself haven't posted comments bringing some balance to the gender conversation here is that I knew from a previous comment thread that Ryan has been planning a similar admonition to the guys. Figured I'd wait.
If you didn't know Ryan or the context this all fits in, however, most of the concerns you voiced are very valid.
"ouch" is truly what comes to mind. I believe this is on here for a reasonto help those who may be doing some things which they may not even realise are off. Thanks for a good admonition!
I think there's a great amount of compassion in what's been written here (and the first 2 parts). I believe all points have merit and have caused me, a Christian young woman, to look at myself and what I do (and that's not the pretty part about this but it's not designed to be that way either).
I think it's even more refreshing to find a young Christian male who cares enough to address these issues. I think I goes hand-in-hand with the call for us to be accountable to others and hold others accountable within the body of Christ.
Great post!
A. Burton
Great post(s) Ryan. I look forward to your next set for us.
Thanks. This helps me realize some of those things I have been scared to let the Lord work on in my life. you really have a great heart. I can't wait to see what you have to say about the guys.
Ryan, sounds like you've found a passion.
This post certainly doesn't sound like the ramblings of a Peaceful Phlegmatic. You're certainly not afraid to express your opinions. That's good.
Good writing Ry. I too am looking forward to the post about guys...which is coming soon right? ;)
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