The second part will be a written letter from me. This first part is a section from a book I'm reading...and I thought what the author had to say was pretty powerful and mostly accurate.
The Curse Still Holds Women Captive
"Even today, we observe how the curse still holds women captive. Women struggle to prove their worth and are easily persuaded to accommodate the lusts of men. This is a pitiful replacement for the God of unconditional love but every girl is tempted to measure her worth by what men think. At a young age, little girls learn that part of being feminine means to look pretty. This God-given desire for beauty, however, takes on a destructive turn during impressionable teen years as girls become focused on their appearance, trying to measure up to an unwritten standard of perfection. Whether it's her weight, bra size, complexion, or hair texture, every young woman feels that she is deficient in one way or another.
Deceived by the demonic lie that her value depends upon appearance rather than character or faith, women face the pressure for approval. It is unavoidable. Sometimes a woman's only resolve for this tension comes in the form of destructive behavior. Anorexia, bulimia, cutting, and sexual promiscuity offer deceptive promises to relieve the tormenting messages of being unacceptable. Sadly, many women don't realize there is an alternative to be found in Christ's love.
Most recently, there had been a decline in modest dress, encouraging attention based on lust rather than respect. Tight clothing and cleavage is the fashion, but the message is sends completely discards dignity and respect. Women utterly despise being relegated to objects. No little girl ever grows up with a dream to become a Playboy centerfold, but the curse draws women into the clutches of such degrading practices because of their extreme thirst for approval.
Endless effort to gain the approval of a father, a husband, a pastor, or a boss only gives women temporary reward. God is our only true source of worth, but most women don't know the way back into His arms.
Eventually, some women grow weary of the "game" with its labyrinth of unwritten rules and they exchange their femininity for hostility-liberation from men. Exhausted from their efforts and wounded by their sacrifices, these "liberated" women have accumulated so much deep-seated resentment toward men that they reject all of them, claiming that men are lust-filled womanizers who are not necessary to society. They may blame men for their pain, but the true agony in their souls goes back to the Garden scene. Jesus is the only answer for their truest need."
Reference: Finding Intimacy In A Love Starved World by Cindy Janczyc
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
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9 comments:
Good thoughts Ryan. Well put. As a photographer I observe a lot of nuances that people make. There are many people who are uncomefortable in front of a camera because they are not comefortable with who they are and feel that they are not up to snuff. Then there are others who eat the attention of a camera for breakfast. It is almost feeding them because it is focused on them and their look they have tried so hard to perfect.
Sounds like a great book Ryan, what's the title?
Ryan,
I think that this author really hit the nail on the head. A lot of female brokenness relates to the desire to be valued by earthly men, rather than God and when that desire is not met the response is manifested in the various ways that are mentioned. Generally speaking Christian women are probably about equal with others in this. Many women are more interested in altering the beauty in their outward appearances rather than fashioning their character. I believe that both of these issues are ones that all women struggle with and should things that we as Christian women should be laying at Jesus' feet.
Exactly how I would have said it all.. lol :) just kidding.. really good sounds like an incredible book.. part II?
"I believe that both of these issues are ones that all women struggle with and should [be] things that we as Christian women should be laying at Jesus' feet."
Nice phrasing Sara. You have a way with words.
I think that response is what I was hoping for from the readers. :-) Yeah, I read that portion and it made me pretty motivated to change that problem and then I realized, I'm a guy and it just doesn't work that way.
What we need is women like you who can bring the hammer down on these destructive self and world views from that ladies :-)...
p.s. Emily - Part II. Yeah. I won't gain any friends from it. I will say that.
your insight into women's thoughts of themselves leaves me to think you've been listening and will be very much appreciated if it is not already...
(are ya happy that i finally commented on here instead of in person)
I'm really interested in seeing what part two is going to be...
Was the recent reading of this book the reason why you tried to send me that audio file? ;)
Definitely going to read this book. I completely agree with the author... as a Christian lady I think it's an ongoing struggle to not find my worth in a man. I think I do a pretty good job of it for the most part but my heart breaks for the girls in my youth group that put all their worth in a man's attention. It's such a stronghold to break in a life and is a constant source of frustration as a youth leader. Of course, that makes me work harder to put myself in the correct place.
I very much relate to what this author is saying. I read all three of your posts, but I felt this one was the one I could respond to most coherently.
First of all, let me say that I'm only remaining anonymous because it's the only way I can feel comfortable being truthful. I'm very embarrassed and ashamed of my story.
I am one of the women who struggles with destructive behaviors. I started cutting 2 1/2 years ago (although that is a behavior that I have mostly left in the past), and I have been struggling with an eating disorder for the 1 3/4 years. I feel completely worthless, like I am too messed up, too broken to ever be fixed or loved. I grew up in a home where God was misrepresented and used as a weapon. I have never understood God's love, only his wrath.
For over a year I have been seeing a Christian counselor, desperately trying to get a handle on my depression and figure out why I was so determined to destroy my life. I discovered that a lot of the ways I have been treated throughout my life were emotionally abusive, almost always by older (and supposedly more mature) Christians.
It is frustrating to recognize my many failures and yet have no idea how to fix them. It is devastating to try to reach for God's love and comfort only to come up empty-handed. It is a very lonely road when you can't find someone you can trust, especially if you can't trust God.
I'm not saying that any of the things you had to say were wrong. I very much understand where you're coming from, and because I know you, I know that it comes from the heart. I just wanted to offer some explanation as to how some of these things can come about, and why they can be so difficult to overcome, even with sincere effort.
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